5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers
by Moore12
Summary: ... and the one time they found out he actually IS a father. Will contain Clint/Laura, Tony/Pepper, Bruce/Natasha. Reviews always appreciated. Latest chapter: Clint (i.e. the Avengers find out)
1. 1 - Tony

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **1.**

Tony scarcely noticed Barton slip into the room and sit down at the end of the bar. He was too busy trying to stop thinking by drinking. And that meant he had to keep drinking because he just couldn't stop thinking.

After downing his fifth glass of vodka of the evening—it burned the whole way down just as he hoped it would—he muttered a curse and then turned to address Barton. "Can I _help_ you?"

Barton shrugged and opened the can of Pabst Blue Ribbon he must have grabbed from behind the bar when Tony wasn't paying attention. The guy had the worst taste in beer, and, before he knew what he was doing, Tony blurted that out: "You have the _worst_ taste in beer, you know that? I mean, what are you, some drunkard frat boy?"

Tony regretted the words the moment he realized he actually said them. He hardly knew Barton (out of all the Avengers, he spent the least amount of time at the tower because Fury was always sending him to every corner of the world on classified missions that never seemed to end up in his file) but he knew one thing: the man could probably kill him with his thumb if he wanted to.

But Tony wasn't about to apologize. And, apparently, Barton wasn't even mad because he just laughed at the joke and took a swig of his beer. "Yeah, I know." He made a face that made Tony laugh himself (under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have, but he was a wee bit toasted). "I just like it 'cause it's cheap. Gotta pay the bills, ya know?"

Tony _didn't_ know so he didn't answer. For a few minutes, they sat in amicable silence. But when Tony went to pour himself another glass, Barton snagged the bottle out of his hand. "I think you've had enough," he said, not giving Tony enough time to protest before adding, "What's eating you anyway?"

Apparently, Tony's filter was broken because he blurted that out too: "Got in a fight with Pepper. Said some things I probably shouldn't have, but what can you do? She'll come to her senses."

Tony expected Barton to take his side so he wasn't exactly thrilled when he didn't. "You should probably talk to her. I know that's what I would do. I've, well, let's just say I've learned the hard way fighting isn't worth it. It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong; if you're fighting, you're _both_ wrong and…" Barton paused, clearly catching himself.

Noticing Barton's embarrassment, Tony deadpanned, "Who are you, my _father_?"

Barton just smiled and said, sounding more like his usual smart-mouthed self, thank God, "Come on, _genius_ , let's get you to bed before you do something you'll regret in the morning. 'Cause I'm sure it'll involve inventing a demon toaster or something ugly like it."

And, maybe he imagined it, but Tony was sure Barton actually tucked him in before he left. What a weirdo.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! I had this idea after reading a few "5 Times" stories and thought it would be fun to write one of my own about Clint as Daddy Hawk (because Daddy Hawk is the BEST). My goal is to write a chapter with each Avenger (and, yes, I'm trying to keep each one 500 words or less). If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!_

 _So, what'd you think? Like the concept? Think it's funny? I've only written one other humor piece ("Stringing This Bow") so I would love to get some reviews. Until next time. ~Moore12_


	2. 2 - Thor

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **2.**

Thor had been eagerly awaiting their expedition to the grocery store, but after nearly 45 minutes of inching through the endless sea of traffic in the painfully cramped sedan Barton had borrowed from S.H.I.E.L.D., he was beginning to grow quite restless.

"Friend Barton, are we there yet?" he inquired again as he idly fiddled with the window, making it slide up and down simply by pressing a button.

Earlier, after he had discovered this magic by accidentally leaning against the door, Barton had explained, with an amused glitter in his hawk-like eyes, that the windows were automatic. "You used to have to spin a crank," he said as he drummed on the steering wheel with his fingers along to the song on the radio. "I got a truck with cranks, actually, back home. Tells ya how _old_ I am."

Before, Barton had responded to each of his queries, offering assurances that they would reach their destination shortly. This time, he did not. Instead, he wordlessly switched lanes, and Thor immediately discerned his intentions; he wanted to sneak through the light before it turned red, which Thor had learned the hard way once signaled that one must stop. Barton's plans were thwarted when an overzealous woman stepped out in front of the sedan while the light was still yellow, forcing him to slam on the breaks.

Thor sighed despondently at the setback, which was hardly the first of this ill-fated outing. Before he could suggest that they abandon the sedan and fly there, he recalled the Captain's rule about using their powers during peacetime. So, instead, he heaved another sigh and inquired again, "Are we _there_ yet?"

"If you ask me _one_ more time I am turning this car around," Barton snapped, directing his penetrating gaze into the rear view mirror. It almost felt as though he had been scolded by Odin himself, and Thor could not help but hang his head in shame.

Lest he draw the archer's ire again, Thor dared not speak, and an uncomfortable silence rapidly descended upon them. Finally, Barton let out a low whistle and said, his voice carrying a faint note of unease, "Jeez, I'm sorry, man. Don't know what got into me there. Guess I'm getting sick of sitting in this traffic too."

Thor nodded solemnly in acknowledgement and was about to respond with an apology of his own for his impatience when something in the corner of his eye captured his undivided attention. It was a gigantic ice cream cone affixed to the side of a building, surrounded by a dazzling array of colors. When he noticed that a great number of people were sitting outside of the building, feasting, he could stop his mouth from watering.

It did not take long for Barton's hawk-like eyes to follow Thor's gaze, and he smiled roguishly. "Ya know what? Going grocery shopping isn't all that exciting. Wanna stop for ice cream instead?"

So they did. And it was a feast fit for a god.

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed the second installment! I have to admit that I've never written about Thor (either from his perspective or in general) so that was a tad difficult. Anyway, thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think. I'd also love any suggestions for other chapters. Until next time. ~Moore12_


	3. 3 - Natasha

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **3.**

Honestly, Natasha never liked wearing dresses. She found them to be rather impractical, but tonight was one of those nights where she had to wear one. She wasn't supposed to call _too_ much attention to herself, as she was only going as part of the security detail, but she had to blend in and was _well_ aware of what to expect at Stark's opulent galas.

Natasha snorted, wishing she was Clint, who got to watch the proceedings hidden in the rafters. Stark, because he wanted to see Clint in a tuxedo, had argued that putting him on sniper duty was entirely unnecessary, but Fury had overruled him, pointing out that a gala of this scale may attract some unwanted attention and "good old Agent Barton _does_ see better from a distance." Then, he turned to Clint and quipped, "Have you broken down and bought reading glasses yet?"

Clint just shrugged. "At least _I_ have two good eyes, _sir_."

Lucky bastard, Natasha thought bitterly as she slipped on the silver heels Pepper had picked out for her because they matched the sash on her sapphire blue dress. Pepper had also tried to pick her dress, but Natasha wasn't going to be caught dead in white, even if part of her had to admit the dress was breathtaking. She told herself it was because white stained too easily, but that wasn't the real reason.

Ready to go, Natasha grabbed her silver clutch, which carried one of her two handguns, and turned to leave. She jolted when she saw her partner standing in the doorway (she had to admit, he was _almost_ as good as her), leaning against the frame with his bow hanging loosely in one hand.

"You look beautiful," he said quietly.

Closing the distance between them in seconds, Natasha socked him in the shoulder, hard enough to make him flinch (and hopefully snap him out of his trance). "For the record, you are _not_ sending me off to prom, you sentimental goof. You'll have to wait until Lila grows up."

Clint only cocked his head and smiled a warm smile that reached, and softened, his normally unnervingly alert eyes. Natasha caught herself smiling with him, but then she punched him in the shoulder again.

The second time was the charm. "Ow, what was _that_ for?"

"If you keep this up, you're going to compromise yourself," Natasha warned, her tone teasing but her message clear. She doubted she was the _only_ one who thought Clint had been acting like he was the team dad lately. He _still_ hadn't shifted back into Hawkeye mode after taking a full month off to be home with his family.

Clint chuckled lightly and replied, "Alright, Nat. Whatever you say."

But, as usual, he didn't heed her advice. Because, when he handed her off to Banner, her date for the evening (Stark insisted, and Fury actually signed off, the bastard), he just _had_ to call after them, "Make sure you get her back by 10!"

* * *

 _Thanks for reading the latest installment! I hope I didn't make Clintasha fans upset. For the record, I looked at Clint and Natasha's ages on the Marvel Cinematic Universe Wikipedia, and there's a 14-year age gap between them. I kind of interpret it as Clint "rescued" Natasha when she was in her early 20s (and when he was already dating/married to Laura) so he was always more of a big brother to her than a love interest. Though, as this story shows, he can slip into daddy mode with her too haha._

 _Anyway, what did you think? Do you like it? Do you have suggestions for the next chapter? I LOVE hearing what you think, and it's been great this has been getting so much traffic. Until next time. ~Moore12_


	4. 4 - Steve

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **4.**

Steve never realized Barton was consciously trying not to swear in front of him until he accidentally did.

Steve _really_ should have known better. He was just tired of beating up on punching bags. And, when he came downstairs to the gym, Barton was working on a speed bag, his movements rhythmic and precise. Before Steve knew what he was doing, he asked, "Would you mind sparring with me?"

Barton's answer was immediate, though he didn't turn his attention away from the speed bag. "Not at all. Just let me finish this set."

Minutes later, Barton joined him on the mat, and it didn't take him long to catch Steve off guard. Steve had been pulling his punches (it wasn't he didn't respect the agent, he just didn't want to send him flying through a wall), and Barton must have caught on because he started fighting dirty.

Steve should have expected that. Barton was an assassin by trade; when he fought, he fought to live, and that meant he would stop at _nothing_ to win. And, evidently, he wasn't above kicking his feet out from under him and pinning him to the ground with his arm behind his back before he had the chance to right himself.

"You call this _boxing_?"

Steve could hear the grin in Barton's voice when he replied, "Nah, it's called mixed martial arts. Never heard of it?"

"Well, I call it _cheating_." If Barton wanted a fight, he _had_ one. With ease, Steve freed himself from Barton's hold, slamming the agent back first into the ground for good measure.

Barton was back on his feet in no time, and they began a delicate game of cat-and-mouse. Steve had to give Barton credit; he was fast and knew how to avoid a hit. He also knew how to dart in and throw one, but Steve was quick to catch onto his strategy and turn it against him.

Steve left his chin unprotected, and Barton took the bait. When he moved in to take the shot, Steve caught him by his upper arm, twisted it and then casually flipped him over his shoulder.

Barton hit the mat with a dull thud, and a strangled cry erupted from his lips. " _Fuck_!"

Steve flinched at the word, but he was more concerned he had injured the agent. Before he could ask if he was alright, Barton corrected as he gingerly picked himself up and drew his arm against his body, "Oops, I meant fudge."

"Fudge?" Steve repeated, an amused smile spreading across his face. "Barton, I live in a tower with Tony Stark. I don't like it, but I _have_ heard the f-word before."

Barton blinked, confused. And then his face flushed red, as if he finally realized what he had said. But he only replied, "Seriously, man, that _really_ hurt. Would ya mind?"

That's when Steve realized he had dislocated Barton's shoulder. And, as he popped it back into place for him, Barton hissed through gritted teeth, " _Fudge_ …"

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! I couldn't resist playing on the "language" joke from Age of Ultron. I know, growing up, when my dad swore in front of me, he'd correct himself like this so I thought it would be perfect for the Steve chapter. Anyway, I hope I didn't disappoint and that you also appreciated the boxing vs. MMA tension I threw in for fun. Oh, and for those who may be new to this, each chapter is meant to be less than 500 words (I'm working on distilling stories to their essence).  
_

 _Drop a review if you liked it. I LOVE hearing what people think; it's so inspiring and is very much appreciated. Until next time. ~Moore12_


	5. 5 - Bruce

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **5.**

The first time Barton poked his head in the lab, Bruce thought nothing of it. Earlier that day, Tony had asked him to look at his latest project, a suit he was a little _too_ quick to christen the "Hulkbuster," and he was in the middle of tinkering with some delicate wires when Barton asked if he was going to join them for dinner.

Without turning away from the suit, Bruce grunted, "Yeah, sure, be up in a minute," but he promptly forgot all about it. He was so engrossed in his work he lost track of time; he wasn't quite as bad as Tony, who once locked himself in the lab for almost a week trying to fix, and then perfect, Natasha's malfunctioning electroshock bracelets, but when Bruce was working on a project, _nothing_ else mattered.

So, the second time Barton poked his head in the lab, Bruce didn't notice him. From his perspective, one minute, he was alone. The next, somebody was leaning over his shoulder. Bruce did _not_ appreciate being startled so he wheeled around, expecting it to be Tony (sometimes, he swore the man had a death wish; he tried at _least_ once a week to get him to go green with some stunt).

Because of that, Bruce was surprised to see it was Barton, especially considering he couldn't remember the last time they shared more than a one- or two-sentence conversation. It wasn't Bruce didn't like the agent—Natasha thought the world of him, and Bruce trusted her opinion. Barton was just _never_ around the tower, and, when he was, he didn't gravitate to the lab.

Once their eyes locked, Barton asked, his voice somewhat sheepish, "What ya working on?"

"A new suit for Tony," Bruce replied without elaborating, hoping Barton would get the message.

He did. For a second, Barton appraised the suit, a slightly awed look on his face, and then he turned to leave. Over his shoulder, he called, "Welp, I'll let ya get back to work. Oh and dinner's gonna be ready in 'bout _10_ minutes." There was a slight pause before he added, his voice expectant, "See ya there?"

"Yeah, see you," Bruce said flatly in response. As soon as he heard the door swing shut, he shook his head, wondering when _exactly_ the hawk had transformed into such a mother hen. He couldn't help but chuckle at the thought, but he soon lost himself in his work again, Barton's odd insistence he join them for dinner forgotten.

The third time Barton poked his head in the lab, Bruce chose to ignore him. Hearing the door squeak open, and then closed, was enough to make him realize he had missed dinner, but he didn't care; he was about to have a breakthrough, and he could make himself a sandwich once he was finished.

When Bruce turned to leave an hour later, he saw he wouldn't have to. Sitting on the table by the door was a sandwich wrapped in cellophane.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Sorry for the delay in posting; I had a very hard time thinking of a concept for a Bruce chapter. The line in here about how they haven't had a real conversation came out of a joke I have with my friend. We couldn't figure out a time, in either movie, where Bruce and Clint addressed each other directly (i.e. not in a group conversation but one-on-one). I'd like to note, for those unfamiliar with this story, each chapter is meant to be no more than 500 words (as I'm practicing being concise and distilling stories to their essences)._

 _Anyway, hope it was worth the wait! We're getting down to the end of this story, but I could be convinced to write vignettes about the other members of the Avengers (who presumably don't know Clint is a father) after the +1 chapter._

 _If you liked it, drop a review! I LOVE hearing what people think, and it's been really inspiring how many reviews, favorites and follows I've gotten on this. Until next time. ~Moore12_


	6. 6 - Clint

**5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...**

 **+1.**

Clint wasn't sure what to expect. For years, he had kept his family a secret; he had even hidden them away on a farm _so_ far off the grid they had to pump their water and rely on a generator for electricity. But his team had taken a beating, and they _had_ to go somewhere safe to regroup. As he piloted the quinjet through the night, Clint tried to think of anywhere else he could take them, but nothing came to mind.

And that was how the _Avengers_ ended up walking through the front door of his "safe house." At least, that's what they thought it was up until when Cooper and Lila hurtled into the foyer. Breaking into a smile, Clint swept them into his arms, almost forgetting his teammates were there. He was home, and that was _all_ that mattered.

But, even then, Clint knew he had some (okay, a _lot_ of) explaining to do. He also knew, at some point, his teammates would force the issue. At least he saw the confrontation coming a country mile away; during breakfast, Stark kept glancing at him, clearly trying to be subtle but failing _miserably_. So Clint wasn't surprised when he suddenly set his fork down (with piece of pancake still stuck on it too) and declared, "You know what? This explains _everything_."

Clint arched an eyebrow, interested to hear what conclusions Stark had jumped to. "Oh yeah?"

" _Yeah_ ," Banner broke in, and Clint smiled in relief at the sound of his voice because he had been speaking in five-word-or-less sentences since they arrived on the farm. "Once, when I was working late in the lab, you kept pestering me about coming to dinner, and then you left me a sandwich…"

"Aw, come on, all I got was a 'think about your life and your choices' talk," Stark whined. Then, he turned to Rogers, a disconcertingly mischievous glint in his eyes, and asked, "How about you, Spangles? Did he slip into daddy mode around you too?"

" _Daddy mode_?" Clint trailed off when Natasha almost spit up her orange juice from laughing so hard. He shot her a look, begging her to back him up, but she shook her head as if to say, "Didn't I warn you?"

To Clint's amazement, Rogers cracked a wry smile and deadpanned, "If you're team dad, doesn't that mean you should take us out for pizza after missions?"

Clint was saved from having to answer that question by Lila, who appeared in the kitchen doorway and demanded to know why he was late to their tea party. To their credit, his teammates waited until after they left the room to bust up laughing.

Later that night, as he and Laura sat on the couch watching Steve and Natasha color with Lila and Tony and Bruce build a Lego Avengers Tower with Cooper, Clint realized he'd _never_ regret bringing his two families together.

Not even if his teammates held him to taking them out for pizza.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! I hope it was worth the wait! I sincerely apologize for the long delay; I actually moved and got a new job in the last month so I've been pretty swamped.  
_

 _Obviously, this is the end of the story, but I could be convinced to write vignettes about the other Avenger (who presumably don't know Clint is a father) after this chapter if there's demand for it. I have a concept for Pietro that I really like, but I'm not sure if people want me to continue this. As a reminder, since it's been awhile since I've updated, I intentionally keep chapters 500 words or less (I'm practicing distilling stories to their essence).  
_

 _Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. If you did, drop a review and give it a favorite or a follow! I LOVE hearing from people, and it really inspires me to keep writing. Until next time. ~Moore12_


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